Business

We hear it all the time. You shouldn’t trust someone’s words but their actions instead. But how many times do we hold ourselves accountable to this? Isn’t it the gap between our values and actions that is holding us back from what we want?

Where is the gap between values and action

Let’s start by identifying what you value most.

• Choose your top 3 values. Here is a list of values, if you need inspiration.
• For each of the values, write down what behaviors belong with it.
• Write down your daily activities. Which actions are reoccurring on a daily or weekly basis?
• Is the behavior for the second and third bullet aligned? If not, find the mismatch

Close the gap

Whatever behavior is in line with your values act upon it. If you stick to this, you will live by your core values and thus find success and contentment. Simple as that to close this gap between values and action.

But what if you are not pleased with the outcome? Or what if you don’t want to let go of certain actions?

Constantly pivot

The answers to the questions above are simple: change your values. It could be that you thought a certain characteristic was important to you but in reality it wasn’t. If you want to find out more about what’s important to you click here. It could also be that over time your values changed. Either way, the crucial thing is always aligning actions with values.

Image: Unsplash, by Jeremy Bishop

Do you ever feel that you are not qualified enough or feel anxious even when performing competently? Well, meet imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is doubting your skills and having internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Many people experience this in their professional lives and some even in their personal lives. Ironically, these people are usually performing the best at their positions. You actually belong in that position and deserve that promotion. Below are practices to minimize this feeling.

Practice being seen

One way to manage this feeling is by practicing being seen. This way you will be aware of your competence and feel more comfortable.

• Don’t skip the meetings. Meetings are not about the subject itself but rather about being seen. You practice being around your peers and superiors. And while you’re there, you might as well showcase your talents. In order to be seen be considered for another opportunity.
• Let’s consider you applied for a position and you get the job. By this time others already consider you worthy enough for that position. So why would you make up doom scenarios and hold yourself back?
• If you have a goal or want to reach something, talk about it. Only when you speak up, others will know that you want to go in a certain direction. As a result, more people will consider you when executive decisions are being made.

Front-row tickets

When you are somewhere, let’s say a meeting or a conference. And there are seats available at the front. Take those front-row seats. Firstly, because you deserve those seats as much as anyone else. Secondly, you can focus more on the subject at hand or the speaker. Lastly, you are able to meet interesting people you might have not talked to otherwise. So be bold, take that front-row seat, and start a conversation with your neighbor.

Add fuel to the fire

For those who have experienced imposter syndrome, it might be difficult to eliminate this feeling altogether. But why not let it be fuel to gain more knowledge and skills? You are in that position for a reason and hopefully, you enjoy doing the work. So why not get even better at it?

Image: Unsplash, by Charlesdeluvio

Continue to fail

I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw this video of Caroline Wanga, the CEO of Essence magazine. She said that not till the sixth fail does she get to make it a bad day. And I’m here for it! As a result, she becomes best in failure recovery, she gets up faster than anybody else, and she bounces back faster than anybody else. This reminds me of something the Spanx founder once mentioned (click here for the video). Her dad encouraged her to fail every week to redefine the term. Failure became about not trying rather than about the outcome

Who is CEO Wanga?

Carolina A. Wanga had a child and at the age of 17 she needed to get by. She worked at a non-profit for 7 years. But she couldn’t grow in the organization without a college degree. So she decided to go back to school. Then she started as an intern at Target. After a while, she came in contact with the Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion. She draw a map and at the top of that map was the position of VP of D&I. She saw her goal and she went for it! She spoke about it and worked hard. When she finally got the job, she thought about her new responsibility and made the conclusion that if she wanted to do this job well, she would’ve to show more of herself…

What can we learn from Wanga?

So she did: the hairstyle she liked … blue lipstick… she saw that nobody really noticed the changes. Because she was authentic and did her job really well. She stood out and was noticed by the owner of Essence. He eventually asked her to become the new CEO of Essence. Mind you, this is a whole different market. The owner was not spooked by the lack of knowledge in this market, rather he recognized that she was able to communicate who she was and that she was able to win whatever she put her mind to.

Image: Unsplash, by Sebastian Leon Prado

Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you hear: success? Is it a big accomplishment, a long list of wins? Well, I hate to disappoint but most of the time, to succeed you need a long tail. What does a long tail exactly mean? It means perfecting your craft, doing things consistently, and making adjustments along the way.

Walt Disney

Morgan Housel wrote in his book The Psychology of Money about Walt Disney. The Disney studio was the frontrunner in the animation business. However, they were on their way to bankruptcy. It was only until the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was released that they became profitable. What changed? Snow White was the first longer animation. When you look at it from afar you will say that Walt Disney was a successful man because of that movie. But I like to think that the real success was having so much experience in small animations in order to execute a long animation well.

Momentum

Another advantage of having a tail-event is that it drives momentum. Nowadays, you see it all the time on social media. When you watch a youtube video on “how to grow your personal brand” they all talk about putting out content consistently. After a while, when your audience starts to grow, you will hit millions of views. Want to read more about how to keep going even when you don’t feel like it? Read this post.

Image: Unsplash, by Guillaume Briard

The title of the book “How to win friends and influence people” written by Dale Carnegie is as misleading as the title of this post. Even though this book had been first published in 1936, it is still relevant today. In this post, a few ways will be discussed on how to connect with people.

Smile

Imagine you are calling your doctor’s office. Would you prefer a receptionist who is grumpy or a receptionist who is in a good mood? I reckon it is the latter. Well if you talk while smiling, it is going to come across as more genuine. Even over the phone. It will also brighten your own mood!

A person’s name is the most important sound in any language

If you remember a person’s name and use it the next time you see her/him, it makes them feel important. It shows that you made an effort to remember their name when in reality people don’t even bother. In the book, Dale Carnegie writes ” We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing, and nobody else.”

Talk in terms of the other person’s interest

We all would rather talk about our own interests. But if you are really interested in the other person, you should approach the conversation in terms of their interests. Find out their passion and start the conversation with those subjects. The other person will gladly talk for hours about themselves, their accomplishments, and their interests. Once they are warmed up to you. They will gladly listen to your request. Also, be fully present when someone is being vulnerable towards you. They are sharing part of their story and they will appreciate it more when you fully focus on them.