May 2023

Stop waiting for Summer, Start enjoying now

With summer being around the corner, everybody is preparing for that summer body or even summer vacay. I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to wait until summer to enjoy your days. You don’t have to wait for Fridays to celebrate anything. You can enjoy life right now. It doesn’t have to be something big. For me, I like to buy myself a bouquet and place it nicely in my living room. My room lights up immediately and when I wake up in the morning and make my coffee I get to enjoy these beautiful flowers.

Just because

Most of the time we link a celebration to an accomplishment or time of the year. A downside of this can be that you’ve been creating expectations on the days leading up to that celebration. Eventually, you might get disappointed by your own expectations. What if the event is canceled because of the weather or other circumstances? Even though it’s good to celebrate certain milestones and times of the year, I also believe that spontaneous activities have been the most fun in my life.

Here for a good and a long time

Disclaimer: Now I’m not saying that you should spend all your vacation money to enjoy this week. Because those summers and Fridays give us something to look forward to. Just try to also enjoy the regular days with something that is special to you.

Nothing stays the same

You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to enjoy this life. You’ve been given a new day and you don’t know what the future brings. Maybe you won’t like something anymore. Or maybe the one you love won’t be there. So in order to not have any regrets you have to take out the fine china and enjoy the present simply because you can.

Image: Unsplash, by Derick McKinney

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Rule of 3 – Focus on your top priorities

Maybe you have seen the quote: “trying to get 8 hours of sleep, get promoted, stay healthy and fit, work on my social life, and have a side hustle” on social media. It can be difficult to juggle all these priorities. Sometimes it even feels like you’re failing on all these aspects because you’re not giving your attention enough. J.D. Meier wrote in his book “Getting Results the Agile Way” that is better to have a top 3 priorities list every day, every month, every year. It works best for me to start with my top 3 for the year. Only then can I plan my priorities for the month, because they have to resonate with my top 3 of the year.

Not only professional priorities

You may have a list of things that are important to you. Arrange them according to importance. Now this list is not only for your professional goals. It could also be; spending more time with family and friends, exercising more often, or taking time for yourself. When you have numbered the priorities on your list, take the first 3, which are your rule of 3.

Why number 3

Have you ever wondered why for example they use number 3 in journals or planners? For example. 3 things to make today a success, 3 things to be grateful for, or 3 affirmations for today. Well, there is a scientific reason for this. J.D. Meier found that focusing on 3 things makes you cut out the other stuff more easily on the other hand it helps you prioritize better.

Not really about productivity

This rule to me is not really about productivity. In some cases, if you follow this term you are already setting yourself up for failure because you can always be more productive. By focusing on 3 things I can give my mind a little rest. When these 3 things are accomplished, I get a sense of success and then I can move on to new priorities.

Here is a link which explaines J.D. Meier’s Rule of 3 a bit more: click here

Image: Unsplash, by Kelly Sikkema

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It only has to make sense to you

This week’s quote tells us that the only way to be great is to start. But what if your (personal) brand/ product is not fully ready yet? That’s okay because guess what… You can start now and adjust along the way. Many brands do it.

Logo

The first obvious thing we see is a brand’s logo. It determines their image and what they show to the world. A lot of companies changed their logos over the years. From a small font or image size to a completely new design. Some of those brands are, KIA, Dunkin’, Instagram, Starbucks, and more. Many brands change their logo to keep up with their consumers. They flip the script and all of a sudden we love the “fresh” new look. And so can you.

Evolve

Airbnb went even further than changing its logo. Turns out that providing a service where people can rent other people’s homes for business or pleasure was the first step. They recognized that when people stay in a new place, they want to discover it. And what better way to do this than through a local? They saw the demand and value of connecting people in another way. So next to accommodation, they now offer experiences and even online experiences. They saw a need and as a result, they evolved. And so can you.

So can you

And if Airbnb can evolve, so can you. You can rebrand yourself as many times as you like. You can choose any day to change or try different things. Sometimes we care too much about how our personal rebranding will be perceived. “You’ve changed” Isn’t that the point of life? To constantly be a better version of yourself (whatever that means to you)? So start today and if you would like to reinvent yourself in the future, go ahead. Because in the end, it only has to make sense to you.

Image: Unsplash, by Cerquiera

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Get to know yourself

Who are you really? Most of us are comfortable in our own bubble. Our identity is formed and we don’t have any intention of changing this. I have learned that solo traveling confronts you to answer that question.

Discover yourself

Our work, friends and family, and hobbies play a big role in this bubble. They determine who we are. When someone asks us “Who are you?” We mostly respond with our job title or the connection to our family (a mom, a father, a sister, a brother). But is that all we are? The untethered soul by Micheal A. Singer goes deeper into this question (and might even be too spiritual for some).

I find that when stepping out of your bubble, you get confronted with yourself. If you for example traveling or working/studying abroad for a while, you have to depend solely on yourself. But you also make new friends and discover if they really are part of your “tribe” or not. Being in a place where nobody knows you, opens up a chance to be something else. You get to do whatever you want whenever you want. And on the contrary, you might be too overwhelmed with all this freedom of choice.

Benefits: friendships for life

Now next to soul searching, you also have to create some new experiences. Get out there, meet locals try things. for example, take a class. book a co-working space, go to a concert, or sit in a coffee shop (without your mobile or earphones). However, if you choose to solo travel you still need to stay safe. Because you are here for a good time and a long time (at least until you get home).

The benefits of living like a local are connecting with people on a deeper level. If you commit to that friendship when you’re back home, it can last lifelong. You can even visit each other or plan a trip to a place you both never have been to, so you have an excuse to travel more.

Convinced already?

Here are 5 tips from Jo Franco. She has been traveling solo for a decade now and she also has been documenting her travels on her channel.

Image: Unsplash, by William Navarro

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We work a job we hate, to buy things we don’t need, to impress people we don’t like

This quote is from a movie, which I haven’t seen. But I saw this post on Pinterest and I felt attacked. Whenever, I accomplished something big and I felt like, I should buy this or that to celebrate or for gratification. But if I stopped and took a second I would’ve realized that the accomplishment is a celebration already.

Ratrace

What happens is, we get stuck in this ratrace. Our life is already planned out; high school, college, a good job, uni, marrying your high school sweetheart, a great career, buying a house, a car, sweet kids, a summer house, and so on and so forth. This is the “right path” to take. It will lead to success and happiness. A construct designed by society to keep the money rolling and keep us busy. We actually forget to contemplate if we actually want those things. And even if we want those things, when are we satisfied?

Keeping up with the Joneses

This term comes from English-speaking countries and refers to keeping up with your neighbor’s social economic status. Today we could replace this term with, Keeping up with the Kardashians (or any other reality series) or keeping up with big names on Instagram. It’s a cliche but the content in series and on social media is only one part of someone’s story. Nobody has it all, so it will give us peace of mind to stop to match that level of so-called perfection.

Sacrificing what you need

What’s even more concerning is that we sacrifice something we really need for something that we don’t even want. For example, we sacrifice our time with our family or time dedicated to exercise for more work to hopefully get that promotion. We sacrifice an hour’s worth of massage to binge-watch a series. Now again I’m not encouraging anyone to stop doing or wanting something. I’m just asking to consider if it’s really what you want and need.

Image: Unsplash, by Mckenna Phillips

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Be a Newb: Grow in new situations

What is a newb?

According to the urban dictionary, a newb is an inexperienced player in a game and he/she will eventually develop better skills. This can be anything from learning a new language to saying hi to someone randomly on the streets.

When was the last time you did something for the first time

We stay comfortable in our warm environments and don’t want to change. We have a routine and a group of people we hang out with. Especially when we grow older and maybe have the same job over the years. It can get difficult to be a newb.

But it doesn’t always have to be something new. It could also be something you haven’t done in a long time. I like to rollerskate. When I am going thru something, I like to take my skates and just skate in a park. Now I can’t skate that well so it looks silly for an adult to hold their balance sometimes. But that makes it fun. Laughing at my awkwardness. And if I fall, so what? I can get back up.

Beginner’s mind

This term comes from Buddism and it means that you look at a situation you’re placed in as if you are seeing it for the first time. This could be the first time you’re in that situation. Contrary, it could also be a situation you have been in before but you would like to change your view or your behavior toward it. The benefits of seeing something for the first are:

  • Not having any fear of failing
  • Not having an image formed (created by the ego)
  • Having curiosity and being excited to learn something new
  • Being open to new possibilities and ideas
  • It helps develop deeper gratitude

If you want to learn 5 ways to cultivate a beginner’s mind, read this post from BetterUp

After failure comes growth

So when you have decided what your new first time is, make a timeline that works best for you. Follow through on your plan. After a while, you’ll see changes. For example, you are happier, more outgoing, better at a skill, more confident you name it. When you see results you’ll want to improve more. But even if you don’t want to stick with that activity after a while. Congratulate yourself on trying something for the first time (or in a long time).

Image: Unsplash , by Quiton Coetzee

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Allow yourself 5 failures a day

Continue to fail

I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw this video of Caroline Wanga, the CEO of Essence magazine. She said that not till the sixth fail does she get to make it a bad day. And I’m here for it! As a result, she becomes best in failure recovery, she gets up faster than anybody else, and she bounces back faster than anybody else. This reminds me of something the Spanx founder once mentioned (click here for the video). Her dad encouraged her to fail every week to redefine the term. Failure became about not trying rather than about the outcome

Who is CEO Wanga?

Carolina A. Wanga had a child and at the age of 17 she needed to get by. She worked at a non-profit for 7 years. But she couldn’t grow in the organization without a college degree. So she decided to go back to school. Then she started as an intern at Target. After a while, she came in contact with the Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion. She draw a map and at the top of that map was the position of VP of D&I. She saw her goal and she went for it! She spoke about it and worked hard. When she finally got the job, she thought about her new responsibility and made the conclusion that if she wanted to do this job well, she would’ve to show more of herself…

What can we learn from Wanga?

So she did: the hairstyle she liked … blue lipstick… she saw that nobody really noticed the changes. Because she was authentic and did her job really well. She stood out and was noticed by the owner of Essence. He eventually asked her to become the new CEO of Essence. Mind you, this is a whole different market. The owner was not spooked by the lack of knowledge in this market, rather he recognized that she was able to communicate who she was and that she was able to win whatever she put her mind to.

Image: Unsplash, by Sebastian Leon Prado

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3 ways to see clearly

If you are a member of this community then you know this week is about seeing the steps ahead of you. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to look at all the steps and future setbacks that might be ahead. Good news, those moments haven’t even occurred yet. Instead, just focus on the step that’s right in front of you. Focus on what you can see and move from there. Here are 3 easy ways to help you better focus on the here and now.

Be present

In order to think clearly, you have to be present. Being present means (to me): being fully in the moment without thinking about what you’re having for dinner or regretting the outfit you chose. The key way I like to become more present is by guided meditation. You just sit on a chair or on the floor, let a voice guide you through your thoughts, and give you exercises focused on breath work. The purpose of meditation is not to stop thinking but rather to label your thoughts and come back to them when and if necessary. My current app for guided meditation is Headspace.

Take a walk

Throughout the week you drive/ cycle/ commute from A to B. It is hard to experience new things. On weekends I like to take a walk without a destination. Either in the city or in nature.

  • City
    Pros: you get to order coffee from your local barista and walk around, take random streets, and be a tourist in your own city.
    Cons: when it gets busy on the streets your mind gets cluttered.
  • Nature
    Pros: you really get to experience fresh air and peace & quiet.
    Cons: depending on where you live, being in nature might be far away.

My favorite spot is close to the sea because you can hear the waves and clear your mind.

Word vomit

Sometimes you are stuck on something and you just have to vent about it. Either to a friend or on paper. This is beneficial because you get all the words out and you might discover that it wasn’t that deep. You might feel better and be able to let the thoughts go. What I love about writing it down is that you can see all the clutter and focus on the things that really matter. Also, you get to read it later and see how much you have grown since then.

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Being Productive Tomorrow But Already Setting Yourself Up to Fail

All pumped up

So yesterday I scheduled a workout for this morning 8 am. I was all hyped up, ready to go to sleep early and start my day RIGHT. You can already guess that by 9 am I was still in my bed … Problem was that I had this image of myself: work out at 8 am, be dressed by 10 am, and have an amazing and productive day. This all seems very nice but actually executing it is a whole different ball game. Especially when you’re not a morning person.

Becoming that person

Nowadays you see all these videos of; becoming THAT girl or my everyday 5 am routine. It all looks great and productive. In my head, I go like; I want to be as productive as them. And even though I think it’s good to have a reason to get out of bed. I also think we should be realistic. If you’re not a morning person, chances are that 7 times out of 10 you won’t make that class. Why do I even want to plan my day like those people I’ve never even met? Do I want to work out or keep up with the Joneses?

What do you want

For me, it is important to ask myself why I want what I want. Is it because it looks productive? Or do I want it because I can show off? The real reason should be that I want to take care of my body. But if that is my incentive it doesn’t matter what time I work out.

Wake up

This week’s quote is: All I want is what I can see, and what I can see is in front of me. When I schedule something The evening before, I won’t be able to see what’s in front of me (Can I sleep through the night? Do I have a bad mood when I wake up?). That’s why I try to plan easy things on the day itself. But never give up. If you really want to exercise that day, you have to try again and again. So that’s what I did and ironically at 8 pm, I went to another workout. The end result is the same, it just matters how you look at it.

Image: Unsplash, by Logan Weaver

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